A handful of Awfully Witty Bar Jokes

There is something as regards pubs and drunkards that seem to be the most common cause of jokes. One and all appreciates a gag that starts "A man walks into a bar" (and says Ouch!) and there is no doubt that drunks tend to be extremely entertaining. Therefore here's a couple of bar jokes that you may not have heard before, but they are all extremely amusing, I promise you!

THE CRAZY BET WITH THE BARMAN
A man ambles up to the barman and states, "Do you observe that glass over there in the corner? I will wager you £30 that I can piss inside it from here!" The barman concurs, since the glass is miles way over on the other section of the bar.

Thus the guy unzips and whips it out, then pisses in a million different directions, coming nowhere even near to the shot glass. In the meantime the barman is chuckling so hard he can hardly breathe.

"Pay up," gasps the barman, and gleefully takes the money.
Meanwhile the guy pays up, and ambles over and takes £200 from a third ---------------- playing pool.

The bartender calls him back and demands, "Why would that guy hand over you the money?"

And the first bloke says, "'Cause I bet him £200 that I can pee all over your bar and you would only laugh about it!"

SEXY LADY IN A QUIET LOCAL BAR
A rather striking woman goes up to the bar in a quiet neighborhood pub.

She gestures alluringly in the direction of the barman, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she sexily signals for him to bring his face near to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently stroke his beard, which is full and bushy.

"Are you the boss she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me -- I must to speak to him." She is running her hands up further than his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid that I can't," breathes the barman, clearly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I want you to give him a message," she continues huskily, popping a pair of fingers into his lips and allowing him to suck them gently.

"Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."

THE GUINNESS BOSS AT THE BEER CONFERENCE
After the Great British Beer Festival, in England, all the worldwide brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The gentleman from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's most excellent beer, a Corona." The barman dusts off a bottle from the shelf and offers it to him.

The guy from Budweiser affirms, "I'd like the best beer in the world, hand over me 'The Queen Of Beers', a Budweiser." The barman gives him one.

The gentleman from Coors says, "I'd like the solitary beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, present me a Coors." He gets it.
The man from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me an orange juice."

The barman is a little surprised, nevertheless gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents glare over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies: "Well, I guess if you guys are having soft drinks, then so will I."

Article Source: http://gamblingarticlessite.com

My name is Pat McLachlan, and I have a Home Brewing website and another for Online Jokes! So this article is perfect to promote both websites!

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