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Some Especially Humorous Bar Jokes

By: Peter Rix

There is something as regards pubs and drunks that seem to be the most common cause of jokes. Everybody knows a joke that begins "A chap walks into a bar" (and says Ouch!) and there is no doubt that drunkards usually are very entertaining. Therefore here are a couple different bar jokes that you may not have heard before, but they really are all very amusing, I promise you!

THE CRAZY BET WITH THE BARMAN
A guy strolls up to the bartender and claims, "Do you see that glass over there in the corner? I am going to wager you £20 that I can pee in it from here!" The barman says okay, because the glass is miles way over at the other section of the bar.

As a result the gentleman unzips and pulls it out, then pisses in a million assorted directions, coming nowhere even close to the shot glass. Meanwhile the barman is laughing so hard he can hardly breathe.

"Pay up," says the barman, and gladly takes the money.
Meanwhile the chap pays up, and ambles over and takes £200 from a third ---------------- playing pool.

The barman calls him back and demands, "Why did that bloke give you the money?"

And the first guy says, "'Cause I bet him £200 that I can piss all over your pub and you'd simply laugh about it!"

SEXY LADY IN A QUIET LOCAL BAR
A rather eye-catching female goes up to the bar in a quiet local pub.

She gestures alluringly in the direction of the bartender, who comes over directly. After he arrives, she seductively signals for him to bring his face adjacent to hers. Once he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard, which is full and bushy.

"Are you the boss she purrs, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me -- I should to talk to him." She is running her fingers up past his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid that I can't," breathes the barman, obviously aroused. "Is there something I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."

THE GUINNESS BOSS AT THE BEER CONFERENCE
After the Great British Beer Festival, in England, all the global brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The man from Corona sits down and affirms, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The barman dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The man from Budweiser affirms, "I'd like the greatest beer in the world, hand over me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender supplies him one.

The man from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, present me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me an orange juice."

The barman is a little astounded, however gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and inquire "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president answers: "Well, I guess if you guys are having soft drinks, then so will I."

Article Source: http://gamblingarticlessite.com

My name is Pat McLachlan, and I have a Home Brewing website and another for Online Jokes! So this article is perfect to promote both websites!

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